I was all set to write about the ups and downs of writing and publishing a book. Or, the gift of a quiet moment and its role in leading me to a place of peace. I’ve also been thinking about summer life on a lake and the lessons of birds and clouds and floating. But then I got the phone call... my friend’s husband died. He was not ill, this was not expected. My mind tried to comprehend the news and to place it in a context that made sense. But it makes no sense. In the middle of my ordinary, but enjoyable, life, my friend’s world just turned upside down.
I have no platitudes to offer, which is just as well. They might make me feel better but they won’t help my friend. I can’t comprehend her pain, and will admit to myself that I don’t really want to join her in the screaming gash of emptiness that loss can bring. I feel helpless as I slowly sink into memories of my own losses. If you’ve read this far perhaps you’re wondering why I’m sharing this news with you. Maybe you’re the kind of person who would rather think of sunny thoughts on sunny days. I’m sharing this news because I seek to write to you from my deepest place, my authentic place. And today, that place is sitting with the weight of my friend's pain.
As God would have it, my deepest place is also where I rest with Love in my heart. So in this case, I don’t have to go very far to bring my friend to prayer. I see her face in my mind, and ask Love to surround her with comfort. I hear her voice in my memory and ask Love to sustain her as she sorts out the details before her. I recall her warm presence and pray that those closest to her will give her a safe place to collapse should she need one.
I guess this July Glimmer is about prayer. At this most helpless time of grief, it’s all I have to offer my friend. At the same time, it’s everything. My friend is a woman of prayer, but I suspect the trauma of losing her husband has shaken her heart, perhaps rocked her faith. So on her behalf, I enter the reality of Love as I know it, and call out her name. I return to the experience of Love that is planted deep within my heart, bringing her with me. Together, we wait for healing. In the midst of deep sadness, I know it will come, I know Love is here.
Thinking of you on this summer day with love,