We Had Today

Dear Friends,

I share this moment with you, with great love in my heart. I know many of you will be reminded of your own losses, and I trust the sharing of stories supports our healing as well as our remembering. Some of you respond to my Glimmers, feel free to share a memory you hold closely, I would treasure that. (I shared this song with her, and later her family, I share it with you now…we had today…each today is gift.)

Vicki and I became friends in 7th grade. I had newly moved to Washington, from California, after the death of my father. She, and her family, were adjusting to life after the sudden death of her older sister. Two adolescents, perhaps drawn together by broken hearts, young and unaware. I’m reminded of the invisible horses that took the students to Hogwarts, but Harry Potter and others who had known death could see them. Such was our connection, Vicki and I, we saw things differently.

The 60 years of relationship that spanned sleepovers, HS, guys, college adventures, independence, marriages, careers and babies. A treasured memory is her arrival to hold my first born child, 3 month old baby boy, with all the love an “Auntie” could offer. With both my mother and father gone, she was my family. I lived in Connecticut and she in Washington, then all over the world, but we were able to retain our friendship, through the death of her 18 year old son, misunderstandings, and maturing. Another special memory was watching our relationship grow as we shared artistry in our later years – she as a potter and me as a writer – we talked together about our creative process.

On June 26, 2024, I joined her husband, brother, son, grandchildren, and other family in releasing her ashes into Monterey Bay, CA. We watched the ashes float among and between the rose petals, so lovingly added into the water. We stood in silence, for as long as we could, trying to grasp this new reality.

Vicki is gone, and yet she isn’t. She is a part of me, delighting in my joy and comforting in my challenges. Love and gratitude swept up and over that scene in the boat, the same love and gratitude that heals all of us…. surrounding us like the rose petals that transformed an image of loss into an image of Love